Sunday, July 29, 2012

Matters of Primary Importance

Remember that one time I didn't post for almost five months? Yeah, sorry about that. In fact, I believe I've broken the first and [arguably] only rule of blogging:
Put words on this page.
In distantly related news, I've decided that if there were a book about how to interact with me, rule number one would surely be:
Don't mess with me when I'm naked.
More on that at a later time.

I have no explanation for what motivated me to throw back the covers, flick on the bedside lamp and start writing this post after such a hiatus or even what induced the hiatus in the first place. These past months have been strange. Have you ever felt like every day is exactly the same, only to realize in retrospect how much has happened and how radically things have changed in such a short period of time?

So, here follows a brief summary of most notable recent events:
  • I had a twenty-first birthday. Every year since my thirteenth birthday, I can remember being asked if I felt any different now that I was a year older. Every year, since turning thirteen, I've felt just the same. This year, no one asked me if I felt any different. And this year, for the first time, I did. 
  • I pulled straight A's in my pre-nursing classes and enjoyed them thoroughly -more than any classes I've ever taken, with a few choice psych dept. exceptions. I decided that I didn't want to be a nurse.
  • I've killed more large spiders while living in this apartment than I have during the past twenty years of my life combined.
  • I made a really big decision about where I want to be in ten years and what I want to be doing with the next ten years of my life. I don't think anyone has ever asked me what I "want to be when [I] grow up". And it took me a few years and a lot of serious thought (and a dash of panic here and a pinch of desperation there...) to finally arrive here. But with all honesty, now that I've made this decision, I can't see myself anywhere else. You know that feeling you get when you're training for a marathon or a half? Whenever you're not running, all your body wants to do is run. It's the same when you're dancing  fifteen+ hours a week. Every second you don't spend dancing, your body craves the space around you. That's the closest thing I can equate this feeling to. I've never felt this way about school or a career before, but whenever I'm awake (and sometimes when I'm asleep) every part of me needs it. I can almost feel it physically propelling me forward, pulling me outside of myself. It's simultaneously thrilling and terrifying. I love it. 
  • I listened to the Garden State soundtrack about fifty-three bajillion times.

Until soon,