Single Lady Habits

It is my experience that the more space a single lady has to herself, the more Single Lady Habits she is likely to develop.

Sitting on the counter while brushing, flossing, washing, primping:
Because who would want to stand at the counter when the Good Lord gave us perfectly symmetrical buttocks upon which we may sit? The answer: no one. No one with perfectly symmetrical buttocks, that is.

Cat talking:
I don't have a cat and I never will, if only because this one is a slippery slope and a place from which one can never return.

Ubermeal.
Sometimes:
Breakfast=breakfast
lunch=lunch
dinner=dinner

But sometimes
10pm=ubermeal

Ninja Skills:
I'm not sure what else to call this, so let's just call it what it is. I'm convinced that law enforcement should hire more women based purely on the life skills we pick up as we walk, travel, and sit alone. I can't bench more than a kilo, but on an hour-long walk, I can identify each person I've seen within seven blocks of me, their relative location to me currently, their direction and rate of travel, and how to incapacitate them if necessary. As a single girl traveling alone, I've picked up the habit of memorizing brief descriptions or license plate numbers of the strangers/drivers who "playfully" harass me, just in case they commit crimes later. I can fire a gun better than some boys I know and know that pepper spray is not to be taken lightly. I also know that a Kubotan is not a thing.

Quirky night time rituals:
Sitting on the counter while brushing my teeth, serial-killer sheet masks, and midnight yoga in the middle of my bedroom floor. Also knowing that nothing about this is quirky because roughly 100% of single women do this.

Randomly rearranging furniture:
Not long after moving out of my parent's house, I discovered that, given enough time and effort, I can move a couch and even a television without boy help. Now, whenever I get really bored, I rearrange the living room. I admit that I'm a little ashamed that it took me twenty something years to discover this.

Single lady cooking habits:
Having the same thing for dinner four nights a week and no one can complain about it. Or, if I'm feeling particularly lazy, dinner leftovers for breakfast and cookies from last week for dinner.
#Healthfood.